Five Maples

Things are slowing down.

As I woke up this morning, I could feel a slight bite on my nose from the coolness of the bedroom air, the days are slower to start and there's nowhere better on mornings like this than the warm, coziness of our bed.  

I ran down the hallway and wrapped up an already awake but sleepy Leo tightly in my arms, then on tip toes, hurried back to the warmth of our bed, both of us cuddled snugly underneath the warmth of the flannel sheets and mountain of quilts.  

Heaven.  

With squeals of pure delight, Leo seemed to agree.

This month has had it's share of dark days.  

Yesterday was another tough one as I prepared emotionally to say good bye to yet another dear friend.

This latest news sent me reeling, a hit that still had in it the aftershock of another friends passing earlier this month.  

The body and mind grieves in it's own good time, in its own way, with no rhyme or reason to it.  Suddenly sobbing with no visible trigger, body wracking sobs whilst unloading groceries from the car.  And as the sadness recedes 

anger rears its ugly head 

rage at the unfairness, the helplessness..trying desperately to find a reasonable explanation behind it all when there never is.

 This weekend we took a short drive up to our property, just over an hour outside of the insanity of the city lies 50 acres of blessed serenity.  

And upon these 50 acres of gorgeous rolling hills where the trees are just starting to be kissed by the crimson and golden hues of autumns paintbrush 

live 5 majestic maple trees.  

A power spot if ever there was one, you follow a slight bend in the path and there they stand..old and wise, as if there since the beginning of time.  

Like guardians of the forest they stand, larger than life and proud.

  It was quite breezy that day and as the wind swirled up, up and around the gnarled trunks and into the leaves and branches above, 

these wise trees had a lot to say.  

Never intrusive, always gentle, whispering words of love and wisdom into my soul.  

And as I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply I could feel my exhaustion fall away, 

the tightness in my chest that had been there for days now 

loosen it's grip on my heavy, heavy heart.  

It's the cycle of life.  

As people are taken from us, we also rejoice in the welcoming of new souls, tiny, innocent beings who will be making their way through our world.  

All we can do is greet each and every day with a new canvas, ready to leave yesterday behind and not worry so much about tomorrow.  

Hug those loved ones tightly and keep them close to your heart.  

Those who you deem not worthy of your time, let them go and hold no grudges.

  

Though the days have been dark lately, 

I find comfort in knowing 

that this too 

shall pass.

xo Blue Gnome

Mountains without Valleys

There can be no mountains without valleys; 

  There can be no rainbows without rain. 

                                                           First must come a thirst...and then quenching; 

And soothing only follows after pain.

                                                               Next year's blossoms cannot fully bloom

Until the current fade and drop away, 

As nighttime darkness must descend and cleave

The light of day from yet another day.

When our lives see illness, hurt and sorrow, 

Do not let the weight of this amass; 

Though we can't rejoice when full of sadness, 

We must not forget, this too shall pass.

By Matt Ward (c)1999

Forever Young

Today has been one of those days..despite the sunshine and lovely company, my heart is heavy today and the only sky above my head was a grey one. 

 Thankfully, it's now the quiet of the night..the wee monster has been bathed, fed and tucked into his little bed, the glowing nightlight casting soft shadows that gently lull him to sleep.  

Tiny chubby fingers clutching the tail of this favorite toy, quiet whistling noises from his 

perfect puckered lips.

Tomorrow will be a hard day, a day when many of us will gather to celebrate the life of an old friend, to also mourn the loss of a life cut too short.  

Coincidentally, on the day I received the shocking news I also received news of a new beginning - a perfect baby boy born into the lives of dear old friends.  

Although the wonderful news did little to lessen the shock of our sudden loss,  I was made painfully aware of the clock-like efficiency of mother nature

as one life ends, another begins..

What can I write that hasn't already been said about you?  

A creative force to be reckoned with, a tortured mind that nobody could reach out and heal.  

You leave in your wake so many people who loved you, so many lives you touched and changed.  

To be quite frank, you knew the dirtiest jokes of anyone I'd ever met and loved the reaction of telling them at the most inappropriate times.  

You made us all laugh..and I loved that about you.

  

I can proudly say that I can now keep up with all the guy talk at work, thanks to the years of working with you.  

The time my car got stuck in the snow driving into work with you and as you stepped outside to give us a push, you stepped into a steaming pile of dog crap in the snow.  

Then you slipped and fell.  

Then you did a face plant while you were pushing the car and it suddenly became unstuck.

We laughed so hard I had to stop the car

and we got stuck again. 

It'd been a little while since I saw you last, we chatted not two months ago and we were going to try to get together in the next while so you could meet Leo.

  

How will you meet Leo now? 

How will your own little boy ever know exactly how talented and kind you were?

How will he know how much he was loved? 

You leave behind you so many broken hearts, 

struggling to understand, 

fighting to accept, 

wanting to forgive. 

And when we're all old and grey, 

you will be forever young, 

forever loved.

My heartfelt condolences to his family, M & N, and little A.  Sending you much love, light and prayers.

xo

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Photo credit: Yoshiko & Kasturo Kaji

We are home for a couple of weeks - and by home, I mean the place I come back to, time and time again to seek shelter from the storms and to escape from the hustle and bustle of "big city living".  Despite the growing popularity and booming population of this once sleepy town in the Okanagan valley, this place will always be a quiet, safe haven for me, a place where no matter how old I get, I will always be my parents daughter first, and whatever other identity I am out there, second.  

I suppose then that it's not so much the geographic location I call home, but home to me is truly where my heart is; 

with my family.

I've been experiencing an interesting bit of identity crisis since my arrival here - I've found myself on numerous occasions referring to my mother as "mama" to Leo..

then I catch myself and think, "wait a sec..that's your grand-mama..I'm your mama!" which even after 8 months is still a strange thought to me.  

When in random conversations I'm asked if I have any children, the knee-jerk reactive answer is usually no..

then a pause..and then the embarrassing, 

actually, um, yes, I have a son..

which you can imagine results in some very strange looks.  And because of all of this, I am forever paranoid that I might forget Leo somewhere..on a park bench, at the store..and have on more than one occasion had momentary panic attacks when I've had a sitter for the day and been out and about on my own, convinced that I've left him next to the back door, in his car seat, wondering where the heck his feather-brained mother's taken off to without him.  

Thankfully nothing of the sort has happened..yet.  And even if it had, I certainly wouldn't be admitting it on a blog!

And this trip has been an indulgent one with great food, great family, great friends.  

What more can a girl ask for?  And the scenery hasn't been bad either.

  Photo credit: Yoshiko & Katsuro Kaji

With fall just around the corner, I hope you're all getting outside and enjoying the last of the sun drenched days and crimson sunsets.  

If only I could bottle up a little of this Okanagan summer magic to take home with me..

xo Blue Gnome

Sloth, Gluttony And Wrath

The final three rings of my Seven Virtues series have been made for a little while now but it's been a challenge finding the time lately to get to the computer to introduce them.  This exercise in creating these rings has made me ponder each and every one of them - although I don't consider myself a religious person, I do feel that every sin and / or virtue listed in this series deserves some thought and consideration, as we come across them everyday.

Sterling, Banded Onyx

The final three installments are Sloth, Gluttony and Wrath.  

Sloth - when a man, who in his own eyes is more sensible  than the rest of his fellow man as he sits idly by and refuses to labor.  Those who are guilty of physical as well as spiritual laziness are said to reject grace and God.  

Diligence to counteract sloth. 

Sterling, Ocean Jasper

 Gluttony - the over indulgence of food, drink or wealth, an over-consumption to the point of waste and extravagance.  In our consumerist society today, gluttony and greed go hand in hand, 

the counteracting virtue is temperance.

Sterling, Natural Geode Crystal

  

And finally, wrath - an uncontrolled emotion of hatred and anger, also known as rage.  

Violent, blinding and self-destructive, the heavenly virtue for wrath is often easier said than done ..forgiveness.

What we do and how we react on a day to day basis leads us back to one of these cardinal sins and their heavenly virtues - not a day goes by when we don't fall victim to our pride, 

envy those that have what we wish we had, consume more than we need, 

become self seeking in our lust for the unattainable.

Envy, Greed, Pride, Lust, Sloth, Gluttony and Wrath  

Ironically, at the end of the day it is also what makes us human, 

and as long as we make the effort to better ourselves I think we're heading in the right direction and doing alright.  

It's for this reason that I've chosen to stamp the virtues on the inside bands, rather than the sins.  

I believe that it's more important to be reminded of what we should strive for rather than what we need to leave behind.

Made entirely of sterling and various beautiful creations by Mother Nature, these rings will be listed in my little shop later today.  

It's my hope that each and every one of these rings will find themselves with the owner they are meant to be with - and if you miss the chance to claim one, rest assured that there will be others and yours will find it's way to you soon.  Thank you to all of you who have contacted me regarding these rings!

Wear these rings as reminders of goodness.

xo Blue Gnome

Snail Mail Treasures

A lovely little surprise in the post today, a hand written card from Lisa, the winner of my brooch giveaway!  It's such a rare treat these days to receive anything personal in the snail-mail express, I have to say this has certainly made my day!  And the kind words..you are most certainly welcome Lisa and thank you!!

Along with this, some very exciting news of a bundle of joy due in February 2013..congratulations A & B!  And a houseful of visiting relatives from overseas tomorrow..this week has been hectic but 

a wonderful hectic!

I'm hoping to post the last few rings from my Seven Virtues series this week and the beginning of next, then if time permits list them in my shop before our 2 week holidays in beautiful British Columbia.

Must get busy, busy, busy..

What little treasures do you have to look forward to lately?

xo Blue Gnome

A Wink And A Smile.

Yesterday was a tough day. 

A day that I was happy to see the end of and when sleep finally came in the early hours of the morning, I fell gratefully into her embrace.  But it was a restless night and this morning, I found myself awake much too early with creaky bones and an emotional hangover.  As if to mimic my mood, the heavens have presented us today with grey overcast skies, dark storm clouds on stand by, as if waiting for a cue to start raining.  A day when all I want to do is bury my head deeper into the covers and nurse my bruised soul, maybe throw in a little bit of self pity too for good measure.  

Then from the other room, small shuffling noises..a quiet coo and a sigh..then a happy little giggle.  The realization hitting me that my days of hiding in my bed feeling sorry for myself are long gone, I force my legs over the side of the bed and look down at my feet

and wiggle my toes.  

We've come a long way, I say (think) to them, and I'm grateful for you. You've never let me down and when I have a spare minute, I'm going to clean you up and make you look so pretty.  

I promise.  

And so our day begins - as I enter Leo's room I'm met with an ear piercing squeal of delight, his favorite stuffed animal getting thrown every which way as he frantically kicks and waves.  I smile back at him, thinking..when was the last time my mere appearance made someone go berserks like that?  Another squeal..and I laugh out loud, the storm clouds above my head dissipating, gone in search of someone else to rain on.

We came downstairs shortly thereafter and as I opened the door out into the backyard, we were met by a cardinal, singing so loudly and clearly - breathtaking in his vibrant crimson feathered coat.  

Then suddenly, not one but five monarch butterflies fluttered above our heads, around and around, chasing each other playfully not 2 feet from Leo's delighted little face, small hands outstretched.  

And I knew all of a sudden that it was going to be ok.  

Because without the valleys there would be no mountains.  

And the cardinal and butterflies?  

I like to think that it was a reminder, a wink and a smile that for every bad day there are so many good ones.

Wishing you all a glorious week of mountain peaks. 

xo Blue Gnome